Understanding Abuse

About Teen Dating Violence and Abuse

Learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence.

What is it?

Dating abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner. Dating violence can take place in person or electronically, such as repeated texting or posting pictures of a person without consent.

Who does it happen to?

Dating violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, or background. Drugs and alcohol do not excuse abuse or violence.

In High School

1 in 11 female and 1 in 14 male high school students experience physical dating violence.
1 in 8 female and 1 in 26 male high school students experience sexual dating violence.
Only 33% of teens tell anyone about the abuse they experience.
4 in 5 parents do not believe teen dating violence is an issue.

In College

43% of college women and 28% of college men report having experienced either abuse or controlling behaviors in a dating relationship.
Of those college students who experienced abusive behaviors, 70% report that they were NOT aware they were in an abusive relationship at the time.
89% of college students are not confident in their ability to recognize the warning signs of an abusive relationship.

What are the signs of teen dating violence and abuse?

Because relationships exist on a spectrum from healthy to unhealthy, it can be hard to tell when a behavior crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy or even abusive. Awareness and open communication are essential to combat this violence. These warning signs may help in identifying abuse.

10 Warning Signs

Some signs of teen violence and abuse are more obvious than others. Here are questions to ask yourself or ask someone you care about:

Does someone ever:

Hurt you by constantly putting you down?
Tell you how to dress or act all the time?
Pressure you to do things that make you uncomfortable?
Call/email/text/message you every few minutes to “check up”?
Check your computer or cell phone?
Prevent you from connecting with family and friends?
Show extreme jealousy?
Have an explosive temper?
Threaten others or self if you don’t do what he or she wants?
Have mood swings?

Teen Dating Violence: How CHANA Can Help

Crisis Intervention

No victim should suffer in silence. We believe in listening to people, respecting their decisions and providing information, counseling, advocacy and referral to appropriate resources. Our immediate priorities are safety and empowerment of victims and loved ones. All services are confidential and free.

CHANA’s crisis intervention services encompass short-term immediate assistance and support for urgent safety issues. Regardless of whether someone chooses to remain in their relationship or leave, we encourage people to discuss their situation with one of our experienced, compassionate advocates. Together, we will evaluate the danger level and help the client devise a plan for increased safety at school, home, and in the community.

CHANA’s crisis intervention services include:

Emotional support
Education about the dynamics of dating violence
Safety planning
Guidance about legal options and resources

Safety Planning

Prepare for the possibility of an incident happening. No one can control an abuser’s use of violence; however, you can plan how to respond to future abusive or violent incidents. At CHANA, we work with every client to develop a safety plan to enhance safety. While each plan is individualized, there are factors to consider at every stage of a client’s journey that usually are not obvious to those who do not have an expertise in abuse. CHANA works with clients to review and update the plan as the situation evolves.

Individual Counseling

Begin to heal and rebuild lives. CHANA’s trauma-informed advocates help clients understand the dynamics of dating violence and discuss the vast array of feelings one may experience. Getting support through counseling allows victims to sit with mental health professionals who can listen and offer helpful tools and skills on ways to manage the difficult emotions, heal from trauma, connect to community resources and move forward with life safely.

Individual counseling can help young people address issues that are hard to face alone. It can increase positive feelings, such as compassion and self-esteem. Therapy helps one develop skills for handling difficult situations, making healthy decisions, and reaching goals.

Support Groups

Gain sense of empowerment and hope. In a safe nurturing environment, support groups allow participants to learn about the dynamics of teen dating violence and abuse, talk through their experiences, and hear stories from others who have experienced abuse in their relationships. Group counseling also provides victims with ample support, not only from peers (other victims) but also from the mental health professional leading the group.

Groups are led by trauma-informed professionals. CHANA provides a range of support groups throughout the year. Please call CHANA at 410-234-0030 for a current schedule of groups.

Legal Help

Justice, healing and safety for survivors. CHANA seeks justice and healing for survivors of abuse. CHANA’s legal advocates provide information and support to those who have experienced dating violence. The more educated and well-versed victims become, the more empowered they are to make informed decisions while navigating the judicial system

Education: Discuss the legal process; provide information to help make informed decisions; and pursue civil and criminal legal remedies.
Referrals: Make referrals to volunteer attorneys or private attorneys when necessary.Collaborate with attorneys to ensure that clients maintain their right to self- determination, and the safety implications of all legal options are examined.
Court accompaniment: Accompany clients to court proceedings; provide legal guidance; offer support throughout the entire legal process.
Jewish legal process: Work closely with Beit Din, the Jewish arbitration system.

Consultation

At CHANA, the role of consultation takes many forms. CHANA works with people directly affected by dating violence and provides support to concerned family members and friends. CHANA is also a community resource and supports community organizations to address dating violence within their establishments.
CHANA provides services and therapy that meet the cultural and religious needs of clients. Many members of local clergy are comfortable calling CHANA to collaborate on handling a sensitive situation within their organization. We have developed positive working relationships with local schools, camps and community organizations to collaborate on projects, develop protocols and create a sensitive and intentional plan of action when facing concerns of abuse.

CHANA Prevention Education Programs

Stop teen dating violence before it begins. Questions about relationships, sexual intimacy, consent, bystander intervention and supporting survivors can be overwhelming. CHANA’s prevention education efforts help young people and their parents by teaching about healthy relationships. These workshops are designed for middle school, high school and college, each uniquely tailored for age-appropriateness, as well as cultural sensitivities. The goal is to start a meaningful conversation on healthy relationships. Through interactive learning experiences, young people learn how to recognize and respond to abuse. They learn about consent, bystander intervention, and dating abuse. Topics include healthy relationships, dating violence, warning signs of abuse, bullying, preparing students for college dating, social media, consent, and how to find help. All programs are free.

Healthy Relationships: Interactive sessions for middle school, high school and college-age students that provide tailored presentations and discussions about how to recognize and respond to abuse, dating violence, healthy relationships, bullying and social media. They learn about consent, bystander intervention, and dating abuse. Topics include healthy relationships, dating violence, warning signs of abuse, bullying, college dating, social media, consent, and how to find help.
Community Workshops: Through periodic community events focused on healthy relationships and timely topics, we help equip adults– as parents, coaches, teachers, relatives and neighbors – with the right information and strategies to help the teens in their lives thrive in safe and healthy romantic relationships.

CHANA understands the needs of the Jewish community across all denominations.

Abuse is Never Ok.

You are not alone.
You are not to blame.
You do not deserve to be abused.
You have rights.
You can get help.

We are dedicated to helping people who have experienced domestic violence, teen dating violence, sexual abuse and elder abuse find safety and healing. CHANA provides a safe and supportive environment for individuals and families, while educating communities as part of the movement to end teen dating violence and abuse.

At CHANA, we stand with you.